Your silence

                            

 They say some men are gifted with words, but you are gifted with silence. Your silence, what a mixture of wisdom, indifference and aggression! May be it’s your way to stop the marching  of my already defeated army.
 I know that I should surrender, I should have surrendered more than a decade ago. Yet the half hero that I failed to be, became addicted to grief, pain and despair. Is my salvation tied to your presence or disappearance, your words or silence?
Am I destined to decipher your silence, calculate the long, boring  and humiliating intervals between your few words?
You refused the throne, the crown and all the praise I could say, you refused everything but kept that strong mysterious thread of silence. 

Here I am, sitting alone, recalling your few words, remembering the sarcasm, the criticism and the accusations with a delusional mind. 

Here I am, sitting alone, lost in an eternal grey hue, somewhere far from purity yet not that close from the darkness of sins.

Here I am, sitting alone, dreaming of a different beginning, a new chance or even another life.