LOVE

“I love you”.It is not that whisper said in bed, not the one murmured indifferently between bored couples and it is not the one said carelessly by naïve teenagers. I love you; I love you more than I had ever imagined and honestly, I realized that I know nothing about love. But who does? Again, what is love? They say “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” but I found that “beauty is in the eyes of the lover”. May be my love is creating a better version of you, someone who won’t hurt me, someone who doesn’t really exist, and most importantly someone who loves me.

“I love you so much” that was what I sent you today, too precious words to be sent via the cruel mobiles, too genuine feelings to be waiting for the cold grey Whatsapp ticks to get blue. “I don’t know what should I say” that was your reply, which was sent immediately, thank you! You are right, you are right with all your versions, the real one, and the ones I created and the ones I keep creating every single day. “What shall you say?” love doesn’t need an answer, love doesn’t wait for a reply and love can’t be explained or even justified. “I love you” is the beginning and the end of a very short long story. “I love you” is enough, does not need an answer, and definitely does not need a reason. So, what is love all about? Spending the rest of our time on earth together? Impossible. Leaving everything and everyone behind and starting over? Impossible. Lingering between heaven and hell? Im currently in that vague isthmus?

What do I want from you? With all your rationality and my delusionality, what do I expect. You saw the situation clearly, and realized that the story came to an end, and you mentioned more than once, that there was no story, but a possibility of a story, a faint possibility of a story. How cruel your honesty is? I wish you million things every day, and on some days, I wish that you taste that kind of love that is torturing me. On calmer moods I wish you happiness, and in other days I wish that you love me. Now I wish that you at least feel my love, my enormous love to you.

Apparently, it is me who does not understand the essence of love. Love does not need to be reciprocated, nor acknowledged. I once told you that it was not intended, it was not planned and I cant help but keep loving you. I sit here, faraway from you, wishing you happiness, imagining your smiles, remembering your witty comments and resisting sending you a message saying “I love you”.