It is Sad

 

 The whole story is sad, and it doesn’t end, although I thought that it came to an end. I was mistaken, drained? Yes. Bitter? Yes. But, I still feel the same pain, what is different now is that I’m tortured by both rationally and irrationality. Neither my memories nor my hopes have any mercy.

You proceeded with your life, I know. Now our conversations are expected to be friendly, nice and superficial. I can’t turn you into a friend. I simply can’t. Although sometimes a faint voice tries to convince me that friendship lasts longer than love. You are stubborn, and you love to prove that you are right, so even if you miss me you will never admit it.

You are the one whom I want to spend my time with. Can you see how simple, straightforward and even childish this sentence is? But this is how I really feel. After wasting all these months, I still have the same urge to tell you that I love you and that it doesn’t seem logical that we are not together. I forgot whom I was before loving you, and I’m still trying to understand this version of myself , the version that was created by your love. I have to admit that I’m not in my best state right now, I feel hopeless and tired, but even in such a miserable condition I want to recall our love, I want to imagine what would it have felt I’d we were together now. Together planning things, postponing things and cursing things. My imagination doesn’t last that long, and after a few minutes I realize that we are not together and that maybe you see me now as a friend and nothing more. It is sad, so sad.