I'm a palace with 1001 rooms

 

I’m a palace with 1001 rooms, and as you left suddenly, I have to pass by every room to shut the windows, turn off the lights or simply seal the door. How long will it take me to put things to order? The silence became very noisy. Can you imagine that I wake up in the middle of night feeling the numerous voids in me. But voids drag you into them, sadness seeps into you, time passes by until you hear some sounds in one of the rooms. I leave the void and run towards that room, maybe there was a memory forgotten there, maybe a proper farewell was said there or even a tiny part of me has returned there. But as I reach that room it turns into another void, colorless and depressing, but I am dragged into it again. That is how my days are spent, being lost in my deserted palace, which is only haunted by me.

When we were together, I was tremendously happy, and it seems that happiness gives you supernatural powers, I was managing everything perfectly, the 1001 rooms were buzzing with scenes, melodies, laughter and future plans. The only fear I had back then was the passing of time. Now the only hope is have is the passing of time.

Maybe I can store all the words that I didn’t get the chance to say in some of these rooms. Let them fill some of my voids. I’m stranded in an unknown place, alone with a dozen of my fake personalities that can not function anymore. Imagine how many words are blocking me, how many insincere smiles are piled around, and how many unfinished hazy dreams that I try to understand. Let everything collect dust, maybe some of my voids will be filled.
Sleeping became my only salvation, you stopped appearing in my dreams. I sleep a lot for a day or two then sleeping runs away leaving me with migraines, mugs of cold coffee and numbness. I wake up to attend a meeting, I may fake a serious look, maybe succeed in looking interested in whatever is said, mission accomplished. I leave the meeting and return to the palace of 1001 rooms, maybe I find something that will force me to smile, cry or feel anything. I sleep for a couple of hours until I’m violently awakened by the nothingness that became my life