Good Morning

 

I sent the daily “good morning” message, I hesitated a bit while picking an emoji, a smiley face, or that one with the hearts, the face with the red kiss, or just the childish sun with its silly rays. I waited for your reply, you wake up early, I checked my mobile, after brushing my teeth, I checked my mobile after praying, I checked my mobile after taking my shower, I checked my mobile after preparing my coffee, I checked my mobile before picking my bag and leaving and I kept checking my mobile along the way. You can’t be that stingy with eleven letters, you could have sent an emoji, anything, you were online 10 minutes ago, why didn’t you check my messages? A few hours ago, we were together, in one of my vivid dreams, talking and talking and now you don’t even care to send one word.

I remember one day, in our beautiful beginning, we came up with a crazy idea, cant remember if it was me or you who suggested it, I was usually the crazy one among the two of us, but on that day we decided to pick a random day, a very random day, and if we are still together on that specific date, both of us will make tattoos. “But I hate tattoos…I can’t stand them” I screamed in a funny theatrical way, “no tattoos for me” I repeated while looking at my skinny arms and waiting for your laughs. You said in a decisive tone, “If we are still together, we will have tiny tattoos, may be the first letters of our names…” She smiled and added, “maybe you write my name and I write yours”.  We kept laughing for hours, about the shapes, sizes and fonts of these future tattoos, and we discussed where to place them and who will see them, and then all the laughs stopped suddenly, disappeared, collected their echoes and left. Yes, at that specific moment we realized that there are others, others who will need justifications for these names attached to our bodies, these names which are not ours, but we insisted on taking them with us to the grave, these names became parts of us, of our beings.

Still waiting for that reply, while trying to respond to all the messages of the “others”, those who clung to my life at different stages, those who became part of my life, shaped it, and owned it. They have rights in my days, and in my future, in fact they perceive them as their days and their future, these “others” wake and sleep reassured that I am there for them, and that they know all my feelings, dreams and hopes. These “others” did not know that I was struck by love, unintentionally, struck by love and I could not resist. These “others” fill my days with their needs, problems and noise, I am sure your “others” do the same. I will check my mobile, may be you send a reply.