Hello sadness

 I have to befriend sadness, there is no point of resisting it, it is stupid to try to push it away if my days and nights. I welcome you to my life, I don’t have a specific routine, but please try to be gentle in your visits, can you give me signs that you are approaching me. Sadness, as you know, I’m obliged to do things, to deal with people and finish work. So, please don’t slap me suddenly, don’t paralyze me amidst what I’m doing, I don’t claim that I’m doing anything important, but crying in a crowd can’t and wont be justified. Sadness, I’m approaching half a century and I must admit that we have never met before, some people envy me for this, anyway let’s have a friendly relationship. I surrendered to you, it took me a while, but it happened, I just need to be ready to receive you, host you and share my moments with you. I know that it’s a personal journey, one that I can’t get advices or recommendations from friends, I’m not haggling here, I told you I surrendered, but as we will be friends, please tell me what should I expect, what will change after embracing you and quitting the hopeless resistance. You know that I’m tired, you have been there from the start, you saw how I tried to conceal you with memories, fake laughs and neutral messages, but nothing worked, I must admit you are grander than any other feeling that surrounded me lately. I have mistaken you for despair, and sometimes for bitterness or other emotions, but you are here hugging me tightly and introducing yourself as true sadness, my life parter for my coming days. You are profound, strong and attentive, I thought that you would be slightly passive or absent minded but, no, you comment on every scene, melody or sigh, you hit me, just to live and relive the pain again and again. Should I be grateful? Anyway, as I told you there i am don’t with questions, and from now on I will follow your instructions, I will cry, shout, and collapse based on the strength of your hits, I’m not expecting you to be merciful, and I will stop questioning the time needed for a full transition. I will be a sad person, ok, I have met a few of them, my eyes will loose that sparkle when excited or happy, the wrinkles will deepen and draw a map of loss, and my tone will change too. Sadness, I’m ready, welcome to my life.