It’s a pity that my love wasn’t accepted. Not a pity but rather a catastrophe. I think of you day and night, wondering how can my love make you happy, or happier. But, you made it clear that my love is my own business, something that does not concern you.
I’m sure that you feel my love, at least sometimes. It’s impossible that all of this tremendous love is unfelt, it can’t be. You feel it, but simply you don’t care, you said it before, “ it’s my problem”. I can’t sleep, thinking of what could have happened and what would happen, thinking of my love and your attitude. Thinking of love, that vague feeling, what does it really mean, to love someone? Sometimes, I feel that it’s enough to know that my lover is happy, ha! I’m not an angel. So what is it? If I want to ask you one question, only one question, I would love to know how do you feel knowing that I love you in such a profound way? How does it feel? Please tell me. May be I’ll be relieved to know that at least you enjoy a few egoistic moments, may be you think about me every now and then just to make sure that I’m still pouring my years into the river of your love. I bored you, haven’t I? “ I love you… I love you… I love you”… So? I wish I can gather all this love, knock on your door, drop it and run away. I need to give it back to you, whether you wanted it, liked it or hated it, I can’t keep it in my heart anymore. Will I be the first lunatic seeking help? Or am I too weak to face this battle alone? Can’t you see that I need you even when I’m surrendering, I need you to escape. What’s the point of being loved by such a vulnerable man, may be you are right, this love would have been threatened by everything, every fight, every thought and every gesture.
I need a proper farewell, we both deserve a decent moment, may be then I can leave my love and go, and may be then I can see you clearly with all your cruelty, indifference and logical thinking. I need to say goodbye, shake your hands and look at your eyes. I’ll have to wait till I see you as a stranger, a lovely elegant charming stranger, may be then, I’ll be able to return back to my old life.
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