May be....

 

“I love you” how does it sound? How did you feel when I said it, when I used to say it and repeat it joyfully? I am sorry for such silly questions, but all what I want now is to call you and say, “I love you”. I don’t want another cold whatsapp message, I would rather to knock on your door, hug you as soon as you open and whisper, “I love you”. May be this could be the real solution, a long hug, soft murmurs and tears, may be then you will realize that nothing worths our cruel separation. Am I really allowed to wade into such a glamorous dream? Can I continue our abruptly aborted love story,…shsh,…. Don’t answer please, just listen.

How was your day? I missed you, I missed you so much today, I wanted to call you many times, no, no, it wasn’t a hectic day at work, but I really missed you today. I don’t know why did I think that we have to spend more time together, don’t they say that life is too short, and we have already wasted too many years with the wrong people in the wrong places. Today, I thought that music was created only for lovers, we are the ones who understand what music makes in our souls, I told you before that whenever I remember you, I hear a sweet melody, imagine how lucky I am to have a continuous sound track. Sorry, I am very talkative, whenever I start, I can’t stop, but you are talkative too. How many times did we sit and talked, talked and talked till one of us had to leave.

How I wish dreams last longer. How I wish it wasn’t a dream. So many wishes and the pain feels fresh and strong. Remember when I once asked you, “What did you do when you can’t bear the longing of someone?” you said many things, they all seemed inapplicable, they did not make any sense to me, you mentioned time, distraction by other things or even other people, patience. We both laughed, we used to laugh a lot, remember? At that time, it was one of these questions of “What did you do in..” so and so, we were exploring each others lives, personalities and habits. But that became history. Now, I need to ask you the same question, as I cant bear my longing to you, I tried, I swear I tried, but nothing worked. Pathetic, needy, obsessed, vulnerable, call me whatever you like, but I can’t live without you. It has been so long since our last hug, and I’m fading gradually everyday, I need you just to be myself again, may be you are my cure, may be you are the answer to all my fears, may be we are simply destined to eachother, and there is no need to resist our fate.