The sin

 They said once Adam and Eve tasted the forbidden apple they became suddenly ashamed of their human nature, some considered it their nakedness, others believed that it was their weakness, but in fact it was their endless and everlasting longing to the impossible. Once we left or I left or you forced me to leave, I was ashamed of my vulnerability, haven’t I stripped off all my masks in-front of you? Haven’t I confessed all my needs in front of you? haven’t I recalled all my defeats in-front of you? Adam and Eve were told not to eat that fruit, but no one warned me that by approaching you I’ll be eternally cursed. I am ashamed of my nativity, I should have been more cautious, and understand that love is not for me. I am shocked by the sheer happiness that I felt with you, have I been missing such bliss all these decades, do I still have a chance, May I? And before finding answers to all these questions I was asked to leave your garden of Eden and return back to my dystopian world, a world that I can’t really bear now.

O… how I miss your smiles, how magical our moments were and how cruel my days are. What was my sin? Loving you. Did I have any other choice but to fall in love? To love you in a way that recreated me, in a way that distorted me, in a way that shatters me every day. I am praying for forgiveness, forgiveness for a sin I wasn’t even aware of. I miss you, I miss your voice, your way of pronouncing some words indifferently, your elegant and slightly arrogant manner of expressing your ideas. I miss kissing you, losing ourselves in a sweeping tide of kisses, surrendering to such magical moments before realizing that we have to leave. I left, but I’m begging every memory not to leave me. Some days I recall all your words hysterically, even your smiles, I recall everything. Some days I feel that the happiness I tasted is worth all this devastating pain, some days I believe that your love elevated me to the rank of classical lunatics and that what happened was magical, was to good to be true and that our life here is not the right place for such a love story. Some days, but definitely not today.