Je pense a toi

 

“Je pense a toi”

Do you remember when I sent you this song, and told you “Je pense a toi 24/7”? The silence was longer than usual, the silence was unexpected, the silence was strange, the silence was rude, the silence worried me, but I had to come up with excuses as usual. The mobile wasn’t charged, you had a call, went to the toilet, you are typing, will type, looking for a witty answer. Then I realized that my comment was one of those silly comments that forces you to freeze, to return to your silent world. Instead of stopping there, I kept chattering, just to worsen the situation, just to push you away.

“I am sorry I am pushy…..although I hate to be pushy” how many times did I tell you this? My love…. No, I wont accuse my love of anything. You simply did not love me. “Je pense a toi” all the time, the fact that I don’t know if I cross your mind at all is killing me. Was it a mirage for you? I was a jester, who helped you to waste some time with my stutters and awes.

On my way back I decided that you can disappear as you like, you can stop me from seeing you, you can ignore my messages or coldly ask me not to send any, but you cant prevent me from loving you, you cant take the memories away. They will fade, I know! But here I am recalling every breath, every touch, every kiss, every smile, shy laugh, blush, misunderstanding, late WhatsApp message, silly emotion, every gaze. I will keep everything in my heart. I will relive our moments alone, and I will wait for your message. One day you will send me a message, a general bland message that means nothing for you, but may be you will be bored, may be you will remember me and say why not, I don’t know how will you feel then, but I know that it will happen. I will be checking my mobile, as I did a million times today, I will see your name and quickly I will read what you sent, maybe it will be a “HI” followed by your silence. Oh God, I miss you. I miss everything about you. “Je pense a toi”