Falling in Love

“The Bridges of Madison County” I answered excitedly just after asking you about your favorite movie. “I prefer “Falling in Love”” you answered calmly in your wise tone.  At that time, we jumped into a totally different topic, several other topics. Remember, nothing could have stopped our conversations, hours used to disappear as we spoke. When I left you that night, it occurred to me that it might be a good omen, in “Falling in Love” they were united after one long painful year. At least your choice is better than mine, “The Bridges of Madison county” was about how Francesca lived the rest of her life on the sweet memories of the few days they spent together, 2 dinners, one night, a picnic or two……that was everything. Sounds familiar? Could it be like this, could this be the end? Could Francesca be my guiding angel, my saint, my love goddess?

Time, I have never understood the logic of time, I have always hated its vague rhythm. Were these moments all what we are allowed to have, that was it? It is unfair, no, it is cruel. I needed to know that our moments together were that limited, at least I would have told you everything I wanted to say, I would have hugged you tighter, I would have stayed longer. How can my most precious moments turn into memories, simply because you decided this.

Four days ago, we were together, lost in the blissful gardens of love, or at least I was the “lost” one in love, lost in its simplest, yet strongest forms. Love without plans, without calculations, without the eternal question of “and what is next?”. Since then I have been whirling in a terrestrial hell, whirling alone among the crowds. Time passed, I slept, I ate, and communicated with those surrounding me with a talent that impressed me. Maybe I was waiting for a miracle, waiting makes you numb, numbness takes you into a world of chaos and illusions, which leads you to stupid actions, and that what happened. A phone call, that shocked me by its formality, all what I had to say in response to the logical explanation that I head was a series of “yes… yes…I see… you are right….. I understand…. Yes…”.

Can love be justified or even explained?