It is attachment

 

“It’s attachment, this is not love. This is attachment” my friend’s voice was trembling over the phone. There was a strange sense of triumph in the air, or maybe a faint tension of an expected argument, a long and heated one that she was ready for. I paused longer than I should and then said, “ yes, it’s attachment. “ 

Are we arguing on terms now, so am I getting my world back if I admit that it is attachment or it is even a psychological need? Does love irritate you that much? Each and every one of my friends is either telling me bluntly or indirectly that first, this is not love and second, it will take its time and go away. So apparently you perceive love as either an illusion or a virus that if it really exists it will take its time. No one told me how long is “it’s time”. I hope that my friends are now happy and content with their wise advises and invaluable insights to my life and feelings. 

I miss you. How can I explain this to you, how can I describe it, if I don’t even understand the intensity of this feeling. Most people made fun of love, others denied it, I was one of this group, I treated it as fiction, just exaggerated cliched words that suit teenagers and other bored middle aged people. I haven’t asked myself if you could be related to either group, what was love for you? With all your rationality and experience how do you perceive love now? Or how do you see my love, do you consider it an attachment? 

Attachment to what? To a world of happiness… who won’t be attached to such a world, who would let this love be lost, who won’t fight to keep such love.  Everyday pushes my memories away, and pulls me towards an unknown path, where I am lonely among my people. Attachment! You say, ok how can I be cured?